My Buddhist friend was stopped by a Christian fellowship and asked if she would consider following the word of Jesus Christ. She replied, “No, thanks, but maybe next time around.”

I don’t think they got the joke but I nearly died laughing.

(via themoonphase)

Everything you do annoys the fucking shit out of me. Stop trying so hard to be something you’re not. You’re NOT different from everyone else so stop claiming to be. You’re exactly like all of them.


Dear Tooth Fairy,

look i know this is an adult tooth but i really need to pay for my college tuition so if u could cut me some slack and leave about $20,000 that would be really cool

(via nice-wig-janis)